Changes
by brittanaislife13
Summary: Pezberry and martana fic. My first fic. Better summary inside. Leave a review if you want. I will post more chapters. Also Brittany/ OC
1. Chapter 1

A little back story so you understand what's going on. Santana and Rachel have been dating since there sophomore year. There out to everyone they endure a little bullying but nothing they can't handle. Santana is best friends with Brittany still but Brittany is with Santana's cousin Sara Lopez. The only things that are canon is Santana is going to Louisville and Rachel to New York with Kurt. Also sara's name is pronounced the Hispanic way, like Sara Ramirez from greys anatomy if you know who that is. And one more thing this is a martana and pezberry fic, I love both couples and and cant decide who will be endgame maybe you can help. In Santana's POV.  
-manda

Today is the last day of summer before I go off to college. I should be happy but I just can't find it in me. I've been dating Rachel berry since my sophomore year and I love her more than anything but we decided on a mutual breakup once I go to Louisville and she goes to New York. It hurts I'm not gonna lie but we both decided we would be holding each other back.  
"Babe, where are you?" Rachel says, taking me out of the thoughts I was so deeply in.  
"Just thinking about how your leaving tommorow and I'm leaving in a week." I replied sadly.  
"Santana...we talked about this. We don't have to separate, we can stay together, I know it won't be easy at all...but your completely worth it." Said Rachel.  
"I know, I know. But we both know this will be best. I don't wanna hold you back from what your meant to be. Your gonna be a star one day and I don't wanna get in the way of that."  
"You know you would never be in the way but I know your mind is set on this...can we just cuddle and finish watching this movie?"  
"Of course babe"  
As we went back to the movie I started thinking about things again I tend to do that a lot. I started thinking about everything and everybody in my life and how things are gonna change so soon. I currently live with my cousin Sara. She is from Puerto Rico like the rest of my family. She came here to America to try and better her life. She and my best friend Brittany have been in love since they were about 7 but wouldn't admit to each other until mine and Brittany's junior year and Sara's senior year. Especially since my cousin only came during the summer. Brittany was already 18 when they were dating because she got held back in 1st grade when we met. Sara wanted to stay in America and Brittany wanted her to stay to so they eloped and Sara became a citizen. Brittany is repeating her senior year so it's kinda rough at home some times. I live with my cousin because when I came out my mother did not approve at all, so I moved with her. My dad sends her money for me but she still works 2 jobs to support us. She has always been like my big sister. It's already been decided that I'm living in the dorm rooms but coming home every 2 weeks on weekends to do laundry, visit family, things like that. Me and Rachel also decided to talk and text as much as we can, but if we hooked up with anyone else or developed feelings for anyone we would be honest and tell each other. Though I honestly don't think I could ever feel for someone else. I've been with and in love with Rachel for the past 3 and a half years, I have no idea how I can see anyone else. I do want Rachel to be happy though. I still remember how we got together like yesterday. I had just joined glee club with Brittany to spy for Sue. I also still had my head up my ass. I liked Rachel since I first heard her sing our freshman year, i would never admit to it though. She was the loser glee girl and I was on my way to being mega popular with the Cheerios. I could never go for it and it made me angry and hateful towards her. Mr. Schue assigned me and Rachel to come up with a duet. I was seriously pissed. Anyways, she showed up at my house for practice and I was my bitchy self as usual. I don't remember in particular what the remark was that I made that set her off, but she stopped everything and started crying. Looking at her so sad immediately made me feel guilty. I apologized right away and kept asking what was wrong. She kept mumbling and crying so I had no idea what she was saying. I finally told her to speak clearer and at the time it felt like it was the worst mistake I ever made.  
"I said, I can't believe that I'm in love with someone who hates me so much. I've been in love with you since I first saw you last year and you have been nothing but terrible to me and I wanna know why!?" She all but yelled.  
I knew I should have stepped up and confessed I felt the same but as I said, head up ass. So I ran, which was strange because it was my own house. I had no idea where I was going I just knew I needed to get away from the emotions she brings out in me. I finally ended up at Brittany's and she firmly told me that if I don't go fix things with Rachel and apologize that she wasn't gonna talk to me until I did. So I found out where Rachel lived, I confessed I apologized, and kissed her to both of our surprise. We've been together since, and now it feels weird that we will no longer be together after so long, and after sticking through all we've been trough. No matter what though I will always be proud of our relationship and I know that if we are meant to be we will be together again. Anyways, for know I'm going to leave my head and enjoy the little time I have with the love of my life left.


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up to the aroma of coffee brewing and I instantly feel an empty feeling. The same feeling I've had for the past 2 days. Rachel has been in New York for the past 2 days and I feel completely pathetic and like a lost puppy. I have 3 days left before I'm off to Kentucky and I'm hoping all of that will distract my mind.  
I use the bathroom and walk out to the living room to see my cousin eating cereal and laughing at the cartoons on TV. Sara is like a big goofy kid. She is 6 ft tall, skinny like a pole, long brown hair, dark brown eyes almost black and the same skin tone as mine. We look a lot alike except I have curves and she's tall and skinny. She also is the complete opposite of girly and more muscular. She was captain of every girls sports team in high school and she definitely attracts unwanted attention from a lot of women. I notice Brittany is not around and they are usually attached at the hip.  
"Where's britt?" I ask.  
"Oh hey santanita! I didn't see you there! She's in the shower getting ready for school. There's fresh coffee in the kitchen if you want!" She replies cheerily in her thick Puerto Rican accent. English is her second language but she loves to speak it even though she has trouble and she knows I know Spanish too.  
"Gracias Sara" I reply.  
I go get some coffee and take a big sip before returning to the living room and watching tv with Sara. After about 20 minutes Brittany comes out ready to go. Today is her second day of her second senior year. She is trying really hard to pass this year so she can go to Juilliard and dance. If that happens we will probably all end up moving to New York and I will try and transfer to NYU.  
"Babe, I have a new friend in glee club and she needs a ride to school can we pick her up on the way, pretty please?" Brittany asks Sara and throws in a pout for good measure. No one can resist a Brittany pout.  
"Of course baby" Sara replies.  
"Yay!" Brittany yells and jumps over me to give Sara a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to find something to eat before we go" she says before running to the kitchen, leaving Sara with a dopey grin on her face. There relationship has not always been perfect but it seems so perfect now. I silently wonder if me and Rachel have to endure these bad times to get to a place like them.  
"What do you have planned today?" Sara asks, taking me out of my thoughts.  
" I have no idea...all my packing is done and my paperwork is filled out so I have no idea what to do." I reply.  
"Well...after I drop of Brittany I have a check up with dr. Valentine then I need to grocery shop. Would you like to go with me?" She asks.  
I tell her yes and go get ready. I'm glad for the offer because I would have just stayed here all day thinking about Rachel. Speaking of, I grab my phone to see I have a message from her.  
Rachel: Hey babe, hope your having a good morning. Call me tonight if you can. Tonight's my last free night before classes start, so I really hope you can. Love you and have a good day :)  
I reply that ill call her and finish getting ready. Some would think it's weird that we still call each other "babe" and say I love you, but I guess old habits die hard. I go out of my room to find it's time to go. I get in the back seat of my cousins 2012 black Camaro, it's her baby.  
"So what's your friends name Britt?" I ask.  
"Marley! And she's really pretty and she sings so good! And they call her the new Rachel!" She replies very loudly.  
I think about how she said "the new Rachel" and scoff internally. No one could be Rachel.  
We stop at a small but cute house and Brittany pulls out her phone to text Marley we are outside. I watch as someone emerges from the house. She is very pretty like Britt said. I suddenly have this weird feeling in my stomach, I must be getting car sick. As she gets closer to the car I can tell that she is actually really beautiful and I automatically blush from the thought. She gets in the back with me and Britt introduces us all. She shakes my hand and smiles so brightly at me that I can automatically see why her and Britt are friends. It was weird though cause when our hands touched as she shook mine I felt a spark that I've never felt with anyone but Rachel. I stare into her eyes and I notice how blue they are. I don't realize I'm still holding her hand until Sara asks if we are all buckled in the car. I quickly release her hand and turn away really embarrassed. The rest of the ride is filled with Britt and Marley gossiping about the latest dirt at school, only 2 days in and already they have gossip, some things will never change.  
We drop them off and I climb to the front. I watch Marley walk away with Brittany and wonder what the whole hand thing was about, I must be really missing Rachel.  
"So she's very pretty eh?" Sara asks as we pull away.  
"Who? Marley? Didn't notice." I reply in a faux confident tone.  
"Suureeee you didn't, you were staring like you've never seen a girl before!" Sara exclaims.  
I look over to her in shock, but inside I'm just scared that she noticed. I wonder if Marley noticed too.  
"I was not staring! I love Rachel!" I exclaimed.  
Sara laughs and replies "okay! Okay! I never said you didn't love Rachel, I simply said you were staring."  
"I wasn't." I reply quickly.  
"Okay well...we're here at the doctors now so we can change the subject" Sara says as she pulls into the parking lot.  
We get out and go in and I wait in the lobby. Sara has to see this doctor for a check up every two weeks because she just got out of rehab for pain pills 4 months ago, she's been clean since but I still worry. It's actually the main reason I choose to use the scholarship to Louisville instead of following Rachel to New York. I wanted to stay close to make sure she stays sober. Of course she doesn't know because it would make her fell guilty and she might relapse.  
As we leave the doctor and head to the grocery store I find myself thinking about Marley and I have no idea why, I guess it takes my mind off Rachel a bit but it still confuses the hell out of me. I'm hoping my call tonight with Rachel will make things better.  
We finish shopping and by the time were done its already time to get Britt. Thankfully it was just her this time.  
We get home and make dinner, eat, and I shower and get ready for bed. As soon as I'm done I call Rachel. It's only takes 2 rings before I hear her beautiful voice.  
"Hey beautiful!" She answers.  
"Hey babe, how was your day?"  
"Great! I met a lot of friends at the open house today "  
"That's good baby!" I reply as I continue listening to her stories of her day. Eventually the conversation comes to a natural end and we say our goodbyes. The phone call put me in a great mood, and I instantly fall asleep to thoughts of Rachel and only Rachel.

AN: I needed to get the second chapter out and get the ball rolling on this story before I lost my thoughts let me know if it's okay?


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up this morning feeling excited and scared. Today was my last day in Lima and it was a little surreal. My dad texted me that my mom was at work and to come visit him before I leave. My mom disowned me when I came out but my dad still loves me, so we hang out whenever my mom goes to work.  
I get up and start getting ready to go to my dads. After I've eaten breakfast and I'm ready to go I get in my little Honda accord that my dad bought me on my 16th birthday it's not as cool as Sara's car, but it does the trick. As I'm driving I start thinking as usual. I've only exchanged a few texts here and there with Rachel since our phone call the other night. She's busy with classes so I understand. I've also thought about Marley a bit, but I'm not worried I leave tomorrow for school and I probably won't even see her until Britt's glee club competitions. I pull into the driveway of my old house. I see the treehouse that my father built when I was little and it makes me think of the first time me and Rachel made love. I sneaked her up there when she was supposed to be home on our 1 year anniversary. I had a blanket and about 10 pillows, because Rachel loves pillows. We then made love under the stars that night. I wasn't expecting it, but she decided she was ready then and there. It probably had to do with me being romantic, and us saying I love you for the first time that night also. It's one of the greatest memories I have of us. Im pulled out of my deep thoughts as usual by my dad opening the door.  
"Mija! What are you doing standing there? Come inside!" My dad yells.  
"Lo siento, dad. Just thinking as usual." I reply.  
"Always my little space cadet" he laughs.  
I glare at him playfully although I know it's true. I walk inside and immediately love the way it smells, it reminds me of home, and my childhood. We sit down in the kitchen and he hands me some sun tea. His sun tea was always the best. So I'm super excited.  
"So...tana, tell me how things are going? How's Rachel? How's your cousin?" My dad asks.  
"Rachel...she's busy" I say slowly "and Sara, she's still clean so that's good, and her and Britt are as happy as ever."  
"You know you don't have to stay around for her right? She's a big girl I have full faith in her that she will keep this progress up." He said.  
He is always on my case about this but he just doesn't understand the relationship me and Sara have, he thinks she's holding me back. "Dad, you just don't understand how she has always been there for me and I just wanna return that favor for once!" I practically growl.  
"Mija, I'm sorry, I don't mean to upset you, and I understand I just don't want you to stop living your life for your cousins mistakes." He replies in a soft, soothing tone.  
He knows that tone instantly calms me. "I know dad, I won't, and I'm sorry for raising my voice, but just trust me on this one?" I reply.  
"Okay, okay, I know your a smart girl so I will let it go...for now. Can we watch our movie now?" He asks with a smile.  
We always watch Finding Nemo together and I have no idea why. It has just always been out favorite.  
"Of course dad"I reply with the same smile.  
After watching the movie and talking some more with him, we say our goodbyes and I make my way home. I pull up to my house and see someone sitting on the porch steps. I make my way to the door and notice it's Marley.  
"Hey what are you doing?" I ask.  
She looks up surprised to see me standing there and quickly stands up. "Santana! Hey! I didn't even hear you pull in." She said quickly.  
"Yup, I can be sneaky like a ninja sometimes," I joked, "so what's up? Why are you waiting here?"  
"Oh...me and Brittany have this glee assignment to work on and she told me to meet her here, but I've been here a while and no one has answered." She said sadly.  
"Hm, that's not like them...well come inside and I'll call and see what's going on." I said before waiting for her to get out of the way so I could unlock the door. She finally realized what I wanted and said a quick "oh!" But only moved from the door a little. I went to unlock the door and our arms brushed, there was that feeling again but I shook the thought away. I glared at her hoping she would get the point that I needed space, until finally she realized and backed off, mumbling a quick apology. I made my way inside and grabbed us both a water. I told her to make her self at home while I tried to get a hold of them. After calling and finding out that there was a flat tire situation I went out to let her know.  
"So they got a flat on the way home but they will be here soon." I say  
"Okay, thank you." She smiles at me.  
"No prob." I say as I plop on the couch. "You wanna watch tv?"  
I ask.  
She nods and I put it on some trashy reality shows, Rachel use to hate when I watched them but there like my guilty pleasure. Speaking of, I hear my phone ring and look at it to see a picture of Rachel blowing me a kiss and I know it's her calling. I excuse myself from Marley telling her I have to take it and run to the kitchen while answering.  
"Hey babe!" I say cheerily into the phone. A tone I barely use for anyone.  
"Hey sweetheart, what are you up to?" She replies.  
"Just watching your favorite shows."I tease.  
"Oh gosh!" She laughs "I know exactly what your watching by that!" It's really good to hear her laughing it's like my favorite sound in the world.  
"You know you love it!" I laugh back.  
"No, I love you." She replies in a soft tone.  
I smile a huge goofy smile and reply "I love you too babe..so how have your classes been?"  
"Great! But tiring, my dance teacher is almost as bad as Sue, I don't know how you did it all those years of high school...you excited for tomorrow?" She asks.  
"I'm sorry Rach, I know you can do it though, your tough even when people think you aren't, and yes somewhat, kinda scared too." I reply.  
"Thank you San, you always have confidence in me even when I don't. And the same goes for you, don't be scared, your tough and everyone knows it" she says.  
There's that goofy smile again. "Thank you babe, I really miss you." I say.  
"I miss you too San, you have no idea." She says sadly.  
It's quiet for a moment and I just think to myself why I didn't follow her again? Then I'm reminded as Sara and Brittany walk through the door. Rachel must here all the noise they create, I swear there so noisy and says "well, your probably busy, ill let you go I have some homework anyways, but call me before you start driving tomorrow and when you get there I wanna know your safe!" She says in her mom tone.  
I scoff playfully and say, "puh-lease, you know I'm an awesome driver!"  
"Yes, about as awesome as those television shows you watch!" She says jokingly.  
I laugh "you know I will call you, I know how you worry, I love you Rachel."  
" I love you too San, bye, have a safe trip."  
"I will, bye" we both hang up and I stare at the phone for a second just looking at my wallpaper, it's a picture of me and Rachel kissing. I remember that everyone is home and leave my thoughts and make my way to the living room. Marley is still there by herself.  
"Hey? Where's Sara and Britt?" I ask  
"Britt went to go get changed so we can practice and I'm not sure about Sara..." She replies looking around confused as is looking for Sara.  
I shrug and sit down to get back to my shows. I sort of wonder what's taking those two so long but I brush it off.  
Marley then asks "so was that your girlfriend who called?"  
" yeah it was..." I say, "well we aren't technically together...but I still love her."  
"Oh I see.. I guess. Sounds complicated" she says looking confused.  
"It is, but it's a lot to get into." I say.  
"No, no I understand, don't meant to pry." She says apologetically.  
"It's fine." I say and return my attention to the TV.  
"So Brittany says your leaving for college tomorrow?" She asks.  
Damn. Guess I'm not gonna get to watch this show. "Yeah I got a cheer leading scholarship to Louisville." I reply, wondering if there will be more questions.  
"Oh." She replies sadly, that's kinda weird. Why would she be sad? I silently wait and see if she had more to say or if this inquisition is over. It's about 3 minutes and she hasn't said anything, but she looks as if she's about to.  
"So...you won't be around here anymore?" She asks.  
"Uh...not exactly, ill live there, but I will be home every other weekend." I say.  
"Oh okay!" She replies cheerily. That's weird I wonder why she cares? Thankfully Britt comes out before I have time to ask as much. She looks a little pissed, but I don't wanna ask why unless were in private, so ill wait till later. She and Marley were talking but I wasn't really listening, and they leave to go in the dining room that we don't use. It's basically a big empty room so Britt had somewhere to dance, Sara set it up that way on purpose. I finally get absorbed in the TV and think about what lays ahead tomorrow.  
AN: thank you for the reviews I got I really appreciate them! And the favorite. So this probably seems like a weird story but I'm still getting my thoughts together for it, it's also my first fic so sorry about all that.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I'm pretty sure this will be pezberry. But sorry your gonna have to deal with a bit of martana just to get some drama going. Also you will find out a little more why she is so loyal to her cousin. Besides that I just feel Santana would put her family first there's something about her that makes me think that. Also this chapter deals with some talk of drugs and death, sorry to offend or make anyone sad with that. I'm just simply writing from experience. Thanks again for the review and follow :)

It's my second week of being in college. I've made friends, mostly cheer leaders, and the classes seem hard but I enjoy a challenge. With me and Rachel both being busy we've only had time for texts and very quick phone calls. I often get scared of her finding someone else up there especially since we can't talk so much, but I want her to be happy. It would kill me to see that happen, but I would accept it none the less. I have a little time before my next class so I check my Facebook. It's all the usual stuff, Rachel hasn't updated anything, but Brittany has. Her updates are kind of weird and cryptic. It makes me wonder what's going on. I tried to ask her why she seemed so pissed that day but she told me not to worry about it. Although when she says things like that I can't help but to worry. I then see I have a new friend request and it's from none other than Marley Rose. Hm, guess that's her last name. I accept then go back to browsing. A message pops up soon after it's from Marley and it's simply says "hey" with a smiley. I decide to talk to her before class.  
Santana Lopez: hey :) how are you?  
Marley Rose: Pretty good. Just on the computers at school. How's college so far?  
Santana Lopez: Good, and challenging, which is awesome. Shouldn't you be studying?  
Marley Rose: haha yeah I should be, but you seemed more interesting than homework :) good. I'm glad your enjoying it.  
Santana Lopez: Don't get in trouble on my account! Yeah I am. Speaking of which I better start heading to class.  
Marley Rose: okay. Before you go can I ask a question?  
Santana Lopez: Shoot  
Marley Rose: Well I was hoping I could have your number? So we can text?  
I think about it for a minute I decide there is no real harm in it, she might be someone nice to talk to. I give her my number and say my goodbye. She quickly texts me so I have hers before I go to class. I then head off and finish everything scheduled for today.

It's already Thursday and I only have one class today before I can start heading back to Ohio for the weekend. I'm pretty excited to see my family. I knows it's only been two weeks since I started school, but I can't help but to miss them. Things with Rachel are pretty much the same. We got to Skype once outside of our short texts and phone calls but that's it. I miss her so much sometimes and I hate it. I've also been texting Marley she is a pretty good friend like I thought she would be, although, I'm pretty sure she wants more than that. Outside of some flirty text messages, Britt tells me she likes to talk about me, a lot. She is cute and easy to talk to, but I still have to shut down or ignore when she gets to that flirty place. I guess I'm just not ready for flirting with someone else, let alone anything else. I start heading off to my only class for the day which is a class about drugs. Medicinal ones of course. I've always wanted to follow in my fathers footsteps of being a doctor so it seemed like a interesting class to take. It's all about what to prescribe and what not to, and what kind of reactions drugs can have. I know a lot of this already but it helps to learn anyways. Today the teacher is talking about opioids and the legal and street drugs that contain them. When I hear him mention heroin I automatically go into this dark place in my head with bad memories. I think about my Tia Lupe, who was Sara's mom, and the day we found her dead. I was 9 and she was 10, and I remember us both being excited that my Tia let us walk to the ice cream shop by ourselves. She gave us ten dollars and told us to be careful. After a few hours of eating ice cream and playing in the park it started to get dark so we headed home. When we got there we went in and couldn't find my Tia anywhere. We finally looked in her room and saw she was laying down. We got closer and I noticed there was a needle in her hand and some marks on her hand that had the needle. I walked closer to wake her up but Sara stopped me. I turned around to see tears forming in her eyes and her looking at this the scene before us like it didn't shock her at all. She pulled me into her and wrapped her arms around me.  
"Tana...she's not gonna wake up so lets just call the hospital." Sara said while still holding on to me. It took a minute to register but I finally caught on and started crying my eyes out. Sara pulled me out of the room and held tighter while telling me it would be okay. I remember feeling bad because it was her mother and she was comforting me. Just one of the many times she has been there for me, back then I realized though, that she expected it. Even at a young age she already knew what I didn't realize till I was much older. My Tia had overdosed on heroin that day and that was why she would always be sent away to get "clean" every time Sara would go back with our Abuela in Puerto Rico at the start of every school year. It was why during the summer she would always ask to be at mine our Brittany's house because her mom was "busy cleaning" at least that was the excuse anyways. It explained why even though that was my dads little sister, they would constantly be fighting. I remember finding my cousin the same way when she was 16. Although it was pain pills and not heroin for her, even though there's not much difference. I thought I had lost her too but thankfully I found her in enough time to be saved. For someone that has always been so strong and always protected me, to look so weak, really opened my eyes and made me realize she needed me like I needed her. I'm finally pulled out of my thoughts by the teacher dismissing class and I'm glad for the disruption. I go back to my dorm and get ready to start leaving. I can't wait to be home for a few days.


	5. Chapter 5

I wake up Friday morning to hear Britt and Sara bickering. It's pretty early and I got in late last night. I go out to see what's going on.  
"Britt! I'm sorry can't you just accept my apology? You know it will never happen again?" Sara pleads.  
I watch as Brittany looks down disappointed but doesn't say anything. I clear my throat to make my presence known. They both look up and immediately change there demeanor to that of a false happiness.  
"Okay. What's going on? You've both been acting strange and I wanna know why? Why is Sara apologizing?" I ask sternly.  
They both look down and stay quiet. I know exactly what this is, no matter how mad Brittany is at Sara she's still always been so hopelessly devoted to her. So I know if Sara asked her to keep this from me, she would. Which I know automatically means it would be something I have to be worried about. Sara only keeps things from me when she doesn't want me to stress about them.  
"Oh so now you guys are quiet? Would've been nice if you did that earlier." I say and make my way over to the coffee angrily.  
"I'm sorry Tana, but it's nothing for you to worry about, your worries need to be school." Sara says.  
"Don't give me that crap Sara. I know it's bad cause you won't tell me, you know I know how your work." I reply and sit down at the kitchen island.  
"Seriously Santana, it's nothing." Brittany says, "but...I do want to talk about going and eating at breadsticks tonight, to celebrate your first two weeks at college...also Sara has a present for you!"  
I scowl at them for a minute then reply, "You think breadsticks and presents is gonna make me forget about this?"  
"Of course Tana! We know you best" Sara replies with a smile.  
"Okay...but I'm only letting this go for now, so you two better get your crap together, cause I don't want fighting at breadsticks tonight." I reply jokingly.  
"Yay!" Brittany claps, "I gotta go get ready for school now but I can't wait for tonight!" She says and then kisses my forehead and runs to their room.  
Sara chuckles to herself and grabs some bowls and asks what kind of cereal I want. I ask for some cinnamon toast crunch and enjoy my breakfast. I then go in my room when Sara leaves to take Britt to school. I check my phone and see there's a text from Rachel.  
Rachel: Babe you never called to let me know you made it home...hope your okay.  
I smile cause she's such a worry wart and always has been, I take my phone off the charger and press call. It takes one ring before,  
"Santana Maria Lopez! You had me worried sick!" She yells as a greeting.  
I chuckle and say "Sorry Rach, it's been a weird morning, but you worry too much."  
"I do not! I just get scared." She replies in the cutest voice ever.  
"Thanks for the concern cutie, but I'm fine." I say in my special Rachel only tone.  
"So why has your morning been weird?" She asks.  
"I don't know, Sara and Britt are acting sorta sketchy, I woke up to them fighting." I reply.  
"And you don't know why?"  
"Nope, there not talking."  
"That's never good when Sara convinces Britt not to talk." She says and I can't help but to smile because I love how she knows my family just as well as I do.  
"Yeah I thought the same, anyways how's your day so far?" I ask changing the subject.  
"I'm actually going with Kurt shopping, he has a date with some Adam guy and he's freaking out. I just wouldn't leave the house until you called." She says and that cute voice is back at the end. Also making an appearance, that goofy smile she always seems to bring out in me.  
"Well, thanks for waiting. I'll let you get to that shopping spree." I say.  
"Okay, text me when you get the chance, I love you Santana." She says.  
"Love you too babe, bye."  
"Bye." She says and I hang up my phone. I always feel so mixed after our phone calls, I guess you could say bittersweet. Anyways, I go to watch TV while waiting for Sara to get back. I want to spend some time with her before we go out tonight.  
After hanging out with Sara and playing some PS3 like we usually do I go to get ready. Once I'm ready to go we all get in the car.  
"San...don't be mad but, I invited Marley to meet us there." Brittany says with a pout.  
I laugh and reply, "It's okay Britt me and Marley are friends."  
"Oh yeah!" She giggles  
We pull up in the parking lot and it's like my stomach knows were here cause it automatically starts growling. We get out and walk to the door. Marley is already there waiting, I must admit she cleans up well.  
She gives us all smiles and hugs Britt and Sara. When she gets to me she doesn't seem to know what to do, I throw her a bone and open my arms. She gets a huge smile and hugs me quickly "Welcome back Santana!" She says. I smile and ask if we can go inside cause I'm starving. As we walk in and sit down to order I think about the hug between me and Marley, I still feel something weird when we touch between us. It's very little but it's there and it confuses me. I quit worrying and decide to enjoy the delicious meal I'm about to have cause who knows when the next time I will get breadsticks is.  
After dinner we're all sitting, talking and Sara says she has to use the restroom. Britt gives her a suspicious look and says she will go with her. Those two are really driving me crazy with that. Once they leave its just me and Marley.  
"Santana?" She asks.  
"Yeah?" I reply.  
"I need to ask you something?" She says sort of nervously, it makes me a bit nervous too.  
" Go ahead." I say.  
"Okay well...I know this is probably really forward and sudden but...well I really like you, like a lot and I wanted to ask if... Youwouldgoonadatewithme?" She says the last part really fast like one long word. But I got the gist of it. I sit and think for a second about how to reply to this, cause I don't want to hurt her feelings. She really is becoming a good friend and I don't wanna mess that up. As for the feelings I earlier discussed in my head, well I've choose to ignore them. I must have got lost again because she suddenly speaks up.  
"Oh my god! I'm so stupid, you probably hate me now." She begins rambling, "I don't even know why I asked that was so dumb!" She begins throwing her hands in the air as she rambles.  
"Marley..." Still rambling, "Marley." No reply, "Marley!" I finally raise my voice. She stops her rambling and looks at me.  
"Look... Your a really great friend and I like you, I do... It's just... I'm not ready for that. I still love Rachel very much and even though I know we aren't technically together, I would feel like I'm cheating, and I would never do that." I finally get to say.  
She nods her head in understanding and looks down sadly. I feel bad so I take her hand and say, "But your great Marley, and if the circumstances were different I would totally go on a date with you."  
She looks up with hope in her eye and I mentally face palm myself, maybe I shouldn't have said that.  
"I understand Santana, I can wait." She says, shit now I know I shouldn't have said that. I try to explain myself but Britt and Sara decide to return and ask if we're ready. I have no idea what I just got myself into.  
On the way back I stay silent and let Britt and Marley gossip as usual. When we drop Marley off she reaches over and gives me a lingering hug and whispers "Bye Santana" when she releases me I smile and wave awkwardly, but I'm mentally cursing myself. Suddenly I feel glad I'm leaving for two weeks again, if I can only manage to avoid Marley until I leave Sunday things will be all good. We get inside and I text Rachel I'm going to bed but to call me if she wants. I then let Britt and Sara know I'm tired. This day was kinda stressful and I need to sleep. But before I can Sara stops me.  
"Wait Santanita! I didn't get to give you your present!" She says and pulls me to the kitchen with Britt. She hands me an envelope and I open it slowly because I never know with her. I open it to reveal a lot of 20$ bills. I look up in surprise to see they have huge smiles.  
Sara then says "It's enough for a round trip ticket to New York, for whenever you need it...I know you miss her."  
I feel tears come to my eyes, "I can't accept this, you already work too hard to be giving me this and you already pay for the things my scholarship and dad doesn't at school." I say and hold the envelope to her.  
She wraps me in her arms and kisses my head, "Nonsense Tana, I've been saving this for you and you know your my favorite cousin so you better except it!" She says still holding me.  
"I love you Sara, this means so much to me, you have no idea." I say as I hug her back and let a few tears out.  
"Aww cutest cousins ever!" Brittany says and we both look up with scowls. We're Lopez women, were not cute. We finally say our good nights and I can't wait until Rachel can call me and I can tell her the good news. This definitely put me in a better mood for bed.

AN: So does anyone any guesses on what Brittany and Sara are hiding? Also, let me know how soon you want the visit to New York to be. There will be a lot of pezberry fluff, but also some drama. And let me know what you thought about marleys little confession...if you could call it that?  
P.S. To Julz19 your review was pretty much everything in my head, so thanks for that. :)


	6. Chapter 6

It's Saturday morning and I wake up around 9. I'm not sure if Britt is awake or not cause I know she likes to sleep in on days she doesn't have school. I need to do my laundry and see if I can hang with her for a bit. I have to leave early tomorrow and I know Sara is at work until 4. We plan on making homemade lasagna when she gets home because it's all of our favorite dinner. I go out to see Brittany half asleep staring at the tv. I quickly run in the kitchen and get us both a cup of coffee, or in Brits case a cup of creamer with a dash of coffee. I take it to her and she instantly looks awake at just the sight of it. She thanks me and we sit there quietly watching TV waiting for the coffee to set in. I feel my phone vibrate and I'm a bit scared that it's Marley. She usually texts me everyday but after yesterday, I have no idea what it could say. Thankfully though it's a text from Rachel asking if we could Skype if I had the time. I reply yes and run into my room to get my laptop.  
"You wanna Skype Rach with me Britt?" I ask Brittany.  
"Heck yeah! I miss Rachie!" She says excitedly.  
I then get it all set up and call her. Her beautiful face appears on the screen and I instantly feel as if she stole my breath. I can't help it she just has such an amazing smile, and such deep brown eyes I feel as if I can see so much of the worlds greatness in those eyes  
"Hey San." She says with a blush. I think she could tell I was staring.  
"Hey beautiful." I reply in a bit of a husky voice.  
"Hi Rachie!" Brittany yells and Rachel starts chuckling. I love that chuckle.  
"Brittany! How are you?" She asks.  
"I'm great! What about you?" Brittany says.  
"I'm good, college is fun, well this one is anyways, I know you would love it here Britt, everybody loves to dance." She says with so much excitement on her eye.  
"That's awesome! I can't wait!" Brittany replies excitedly.  
"Why are you so quiet San?" Rachel asks.  
"Oh, uh I don't know, guess I was just taking it all in." I say. We both smile at each other before I realize there was something I needed to talk to her about.  
"Oh! Babe, guess what Sara and Britt gave me last night?" I say  
"What?" She says with her smile still in place. Gosh it's so distracting.  
"Enough money for a round trip flight to New York!" I say practically yelling.  
"What?!" She says and I see her shocked face. "That's great babe! When is it for?"  
"Well that's for us to decide." I say.  
"That's great! I'm so excited! When do you think you can do it?" She asks.  
"We'll I though about it a bit last night and...I have a week off after midterms that I could go up." I reply.  
"That's great San! I can't wait!" She yells.  
"Me either." I reply with a smile.  
We then continue talking for a while, with Britt to, and the conversation comes to an end. We say our goodbyes and promise to call each other soon. Me and Brittany then decide that we need to have a Disney movie marathon, I secretly love them even though I pretend not to. There is a lot pausing so I can finish my laundry. It's gets around 4:10 and we hear Sara's car pull in. We just wait patiently for her to come in. 10 minutes go by and I start to wonder why she has come in yet. I go to the window by the car port to see her standing, talking angrily with someone I have not seen in years. This person instantly evokes rage inside me. John Hernandez, he's pretty much everyone's favorite guy around here and the reason why I choose to go to McKinley instead of the high school in our neighborhood. The only reason people like him so much is because they don't know the real him. He likes to put on an act. I start walking outside angrily, and the memories come flooding back. I was 14 and I was just starting to develop. Sara, John, and I were all best friends, until one day. We were hanging out at my house playing video games, and smoking pot. We thought we were so cool for it at the time. Sara then goes down to the basement to try and find some liquor, of course both of my parents were at work. When she left it was just me and John. He started looking at me weird and it was really freaking me out.  
"What are you looking at weirdo!?" I yelled.  
"San, I hate to say this but...your boobs are starting to come in." He says with a cocky smirk.  
"Your disgusting, get back to the game before I kick your ass perv!" I say.  
"He then pauses the game and starts leaning towards me.  
"The fuck are you doing!?" I yell as I stand up off the couch. He then gets up too and grabs my arm very tightly, it sort of hurts.  
"I just really want to kiss you." He says as he pushes me on the couch and then get on top of me and starts pressing his lips to mine. I'm trying really hard to push him off but he still has a hold of one of my arms. Plus he is taller than Sara and plays football, so he isn't a little guy. I hate this, I feel helpless and I have idea what to do. Then I got an idea, I open my mouth to bite down on his lip as hard as I can. He screams and pulls away a bit.  
"You bitch!" He yells and then slaps me across the face. I can't lie it hurts but at least he let my hand go. I go to punch him but before I can he's being thrown off of me. I then see it's Sara who threw him off. She then throws a punch really hard to his face. It was hard enough that he goes falling into the coffee table and groans a bit.  
She then walks over and gets on top of him and starts throwing punches one right after the other. I see there is a lot of blood and I don't know if it's from her hands or his face. I come out of my shock to pull her off of him before it gets to far.  
As I'm holding her back she starts yelling in Spanish, "Mantente alejado de mi primo que no quiero verte escuchar otra vez!"  
"You dumb bitches look what you did!" He yells as he tries to get up. That instantly makes Sara try to go after him again and I have to hold on tighter.  
"Look you better get out before I let her go, asshole." I say.  
I finally get outside and am brought out of my memories to hear what they are saying.  
"Get out of here John I don't have anything." She says.  
"Whatever Sara, you always have a shitload of pills on you. Quit acting like you don't." John says.  
"Look I don't do that shit anymore and even if I did why the fuck would I sell to you?" She says getting more angry.  
"Bullshit Sara! If that was true then why did Joseph tell me he gave you some about a month and a half ago?" He questions.  
After hearing that I decided I've had enough and make my presence known.  
"What's he doing here?" I question walking up to them.  
He turns around and there's that cocky smirk. I then realize I haven't changed from my pajamas, which usually consist of my old cheer leading shorts and a tank too. I instantly get the creeps from the way he's looking at me.  
"Damn Santana, looking good as usual." He says.  
"Fuck off, asshole. Sara why is he here?" I say turning to Sara.  
"He was just leaving." She says glaring at him. "And why are you coming outside dressed like that?" She says looking at me pointedly, she's always hated my wardrobe.  
"Cause she knew I was out here!" John says like the dumbass he is.  
I scoff loudly and, Sara pushes him hard. "Don't make me beat your ass again dick!" She yells.  
He raises his hand up in surrender cause everyone knows he doesn't want a repeat of last time and starts walking away backwards.  
"I'm going, I'm going, but this ain't over Sara." He says and then turns around and walks away.  
"What the hell Sara?! What was that about?" I yell.  
"Santana, don't yell at me out here, lets go inside." She says calmly.  
"Fine, but you better start explaining things, and I mean everything!" I say not yelling, but in a firm tone.  
We walk inside and she goes to the kitchen. I see Brittany get up to see what's going on.  
"I don't know what you want me tell you Santanita, there's nothing to say." She says acting innocent.  
"Don't "Santanita" me!" I say putting air quotes around her nickname for me. "Why did he say Joseph gave you pills last week!?" I yell again.  
She looks down ashamed and I instantly feel like just kicking her ass. Before I can say anything Brittany comes all the way in the kitchen.  
"Sara...just tell her. It's not like she won't figure it out." Brittany says.  
"Tell me what!?" I yell.  
"Calm down and I will explain," she says sadly, "remember that day we came home late and I said it was a flat tire?"  
"...yes?" I reply wondering what that has to do with anything.  
"Well...that wasn't true. What really happened was, me and Brittany got in a fight, she asked me to pull over and said she was gonna start walking to her mothers. After spending 15 minutes trying to convince to at least let me drive her there, I took her to her mothers. We then sat outside in the car while I tried to convince her to not leave me and go back with me so we can work on things. After I finally convinced her is when you called and we were headed back." She says.  
"That still leaves things unexplained. Why were you guys fighting?" I ask.  
"Because..on our way home Dr. Valentine called but I was driving so she picked up..." She says but before she could finish Brittany chimes in.  
"Yeah, and her last drug test came back dirty!" She says angrily.  
"What the hell Sara!? You've been doing so good! How the hell did this happen? And how often has this been happening? Are you on them right now?!" I began shouting.  
"Stop Santana!" She yelled and then grabbed my shoulder. "It was only once, and yes I know I completely fucked my progress up but I haven't done it again."  
"How did it happen?" I ask looking her straight in the eye.  
"Joseph came over when you and Brittany were school shopping. I told him I wasn't supposed to be around him but he said he just wanted to talk. At first it was normal but then he started pulling out a big of pills and asking me if I wanted some. I told him he had to leave if he wasn't gonna do that so he left. But, he also left about 5 of them on our coffee table. I tried so hard San, I did, but I eventually couldn't help it and took all of them." She said looking ashamed.  
I can't help but to be disappointed and angry, but not at her but at that prick she used to call a best friend.  
"Why the fuck did he leave them here? I could kill that little asshole!" I yell and start marching towards the door.  
"What are you doing San?" Sara says and runs towards me. "It's not like you can go and hunt him down, this is my fault as much as it is his."  
I sigh defeatedly and start tearing up. " I don't know Sara, I'm just so scared I don't want you to end up like your mother! I can't let that happen, I can't go through what happened when you were 16 again."  
She pulls me into her and starts rubbing my back comfortingly. "It won't San I promise, this was a one time thing and it won't happen again." She says. I then start to feel mad again because I've already heard that before yet here we are.  
I then pull out of her embrace and look her straight in the eyes. "It better not. Because if it does I will put you back in rehab, and I will not stop Brittany from leaving you, and I will send you to live with Abuela so she can make sure your not alone."  
She nods her head in understanding and I tell them I'm going to finish my laundry and to get me when they start making dinner. I just need a minute to process things.

AN: So this chapter got a bit out of hand. I just got into the drama and from there, so my apologies if it seems a bit long winded. Also I'm not very good at being descriptive so let me know if you want to know what any of these other characters look like. Also, sorry for my authors notes also being so long. Also, Sara pretty much tells the guy to stay away from Santana if anyone was wondering.  
To julz19: I swear your in my head lol, I am using Brody and it will sorta be like the break up episode but a little different. To itsmeagain, you will get real pezberry soon but it will be a few chapters, luckily my chapters are short. Thanks for the reviews and follows :)


	7. Chapter 7

It's been about 3 months since the drama at my house. After walking away from them and coming back later we continued our plans for dinner. It was a little tension filled but we've been in fights before so it's nothing we couldn't handle. I've talked to Brittany on the phone everyday since though to make sure everything remains okay. So far so good, I hope. I've talked to Rachel on the phone about twice a week too,the usual I've made it okay, I cant wait till we see each other, and informing of what's going down at home. I had to let her know cause she's the only one who can comfort me and make me calm. I don't know why but she's always been able to calm that Lopez temper. Marley has also been texting me, I have to admit the girl has game and she's super cute with her texts of trying to win me over. When I go home on the weekends she always makes it a point to be "hanging with Britt" those weekends. She's trying real hard, but sadly it just isn't gonna happen. I leave in a few days to New York but first I'm driving home and leaving from the airport there.

3 days later.

I get home pretty late at night because I had a lot to get squared away at school. I'm not sure if anyone is awake so I go inside quietly. I see the tv on but all the lights off so I go check to see if Britt might have left it on she does that a lot. I see that it's Sara and I run to the couch and tackle her. What? Sometimes I miss my cousin.

"San! What are you doing, crazy?" She says in a joking tone.

"Just giving you a hug." I say and finally let her go.

"Thanks," she laughs,"you excited for tommorow?"

"Hell yeah! I can't wait to see Rachel." I say with my Rachel grin. She can even make me do it when she's not nods and laughs, and looks back at the TV.

"Hey" I say in a gentle tone. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah...just had a little bit of a wierd session with Dr. Valentine today and he got me thinking about my parents a bit." She says sadly.

"Oh...is it at least helping? I mean like to figure things out?" I ask.

The reason Sara is in therapy is because after getting out of rehab they wanted to get to the root of why she was doing what she was doing. Also, because they test her when she's there too make sure it's not happening again. Hence, why we knew it had happened again. All the therapy and rehab was set up by my father. He is pretty much like her father too, so when he told her she had to do this all, she listened. Her real father is in prison for allegedly murdering a guy over drug money. No one knows if that's true but he stilled got charged for it. It doesn't matter though because he was never part of her life anyway. The only reason Sara was born is because her mother wanted drugs and had no money, her father sold drugs and was willing to exchange sex for them, they didn't use protection and that's why Sara is here. So as you can see drugs have always been a big part of her life.

Sara finally responds, "I don't know...I guess, he was saying how I've spent my whole life hearing how my parents are bad people and drug addicts and they hope I don't turn out like them, so I decided to turn to drugs to spite them."

"Do you think that's true?" I ask.

"I don't know, that's why I've been thinking about it so much." She says.

"Well...just so you know, you aren't like your parents. Your much better then them. And do you wanna know the difference between you and your parents?" I ask.

"What?" She says.

"Your trying to get clean and stay clean, your trying to better your life. I know the little slip up sucked, but your still trying. That's something your parents never did." I say with complete sincerity.

She looks like she's tearing up a bit and says "Thank you Santana, thank you for always being there for me no matter what. Your a great friend and cousin." She says then smiles and hugs me tight.

"De nada Sara, it's not like it's one sided, you've always had my back too." I say.

She just nods and lets me go, "Well you better get to sleep, you leave early tomorrow." I nod my head and hug her once again before saying goodnight and going to sleep.

I wake up the next morning feeling anxious and excited, I cant believe I actually get to see Rachel today. I start getting all my stuff together and hear Sara yell that's there's coffee and that it is almost time to go. Her and Britt are dropping me off so I don't have to leave my car somewhere I don't trust. I then hear the doorbell ring and wonder who could be here at such an early hour. I hear a knock on my bedroom door and tell whoever it is to come in.

"Hi Santana, I brought you something." I hear Marleys voice and quickly turn around from my suitcase to see her holding a bouquet of a beautiful arrangement of brightly colored flowers.

"Aww, Marley. What did you do that for?" I ask.

"Well the lady at the flower shop said these meant good luck so I thought I would bring them over to wish you a safe trip." She says with a smile.

I take them from her and give her a quick one armed hug. "Thank you Marley, there beautiful."

"Of course, I thought I could maybe come with you guys...to see you off?" She asks.

"Yeah sure, I think now it's time to go." I say. After we get all my stuff packed in the car we start driving to the airport. Once we are there we try figuring out where I'm supposed to go and where I take my bags. Once everything is figured out they all go with me to the farthest part that they can go.

"Well I hope you have a safe trip and a good time San." Sara says as she hugs me.

"Yeah don't let terriers on the plane get you, I know there small dogs but I heard they can be vicious." Says Brittany. I look to Sara confused and she just gives me a confused "I don't know" look back.

"Britt... Do you mean terrorists?" I ask.

"No I'm pretty sure they said terriers on the news." She says completely serious. I laugh and give her a hug "Thanks Britt, ill be sure and watch out for them."

I then look at Marley and again she doesn't know what to do. I pull her in for a hug and thank her for the flowers. She wishes me a safe trip and I say bye to all off them and start walking off. After I'm situated in my seat I pull out my phone to check it before I have to turn it off and I see there is 1 new text.

**Marley: Just texting again to make sure your safe and if you could possibly let me know you landed okay? Also I really do hope you enjoyed the flowers, you know all beautiful women deserve beautiful flowers ;)**

I've noticed she always has something to say in text but never when we see each other in person. I think she is more shy in person. I reply and then text Rachel to tell her I've boarded. I then shut off my phone and prepare for the flight ahead of me.

AN: So I wanted to say sorry that I keep putting Sara in it so much. It's just that I'm trying to really show there relationship so you can understand sans decision. Pretty much anything bad that has happened to them it was always them together. They've had Britt and Rachel too but they were never there to actually experience what they both have.


	8. Chapter 8

I wake up from the short nap I took on the plane to find out we've just landed. I quickly make sure all my things are together and wait for them to let me off. Once I'm finally walking down the little ramp I start to feel crazy nervous. Also very excited, I can't believe I finally get to see Rachel again. I make my way off the ramp and start scanning the crowd. It takes a few tries because this airport is huge when I finally see Kurt and the back of Rachel. I walk closer and hear Rachel talking.

"Kurt! I'm pretty sure this is the gate, I mean I don't see any other flights from Ohio." She sounds irritated.

"Well then where is she?" He asks equally irritated. I never got how there best friends there always fighting.

I quickly run up before Kurt notices and clasp my hand around her eyes.  
"Guess who?" I ask. And Kurt looks to me with a smile.

"Santana!" She screams and turns around to face me. I give her a huge smile and she grabs me around the waist and kisses me hard. I return the kiss instantly and put my hands around her neck. I'm not sure how long we're kissing for but I'm about to involve my tongue when I hear Kurt clear his throat.

"Ladies, I know it's been a while, but there are children here." He says.

Me and Rachel stop kissing and I just stare at her for a second to take it in. We finally stop staring and pull away just a little. I still have one arm around her shoulder and she still has one around my waist.

"Kurt, don't be jealous cause you've never experienced one of those awesome airports kisses that we just did. I know by the movies that you and Rachel make me watch that you have totally always wanted one." I tell him in my catty tone that we always use with each other, it's our way of saying we love each other.

"Oh please satan, the only thing romantic about that kiss was that for once you didn't immediately go in for the boob grab. Which may I remind you you've done multiple times in public before." He says in the same tone.

"Aww... I get what this is about Lady, you don't have anyone to grope in public?" I respond.

"San! What did I say about calling Kurt lady!?" Rachel yells and lightly smack me on the stomach.

"I'm sorry babe, but he knows I say it only with the upmost love and affection." I say and kiss her on the cheek.

"So glad to see your as whipped and as evil as ever Santana." Kurt says with a smile.

"Aw, I missed you too Kurt." I say and release Rachel to give him a hug.

"I never understand you two." Rachel says and shakes her head.

"I don't think we do either." I say and grab her hand as we start walking to get my suitcases and to the car. Once in the car I get in the back behind Rachel because Kurt is driving and we didn't wanna leave him up front by himself like a cab driver. I turn on my phone as he starts driving away and text Sara, Britt, and even Marley to let them know I've landed.  
It must have taken me too long because then Rachel asks who I'm texting. I tell her I'm telling Sara and Britt I made it okay and she says nods in understanding. I don't know why I didn't mention that I was texting Marley too but I just chalk it up to not wanting to explain who she is. I put my phone away and sit up in my seat so my head is above the middle console. I reach forward and grab her hand and rest my head on her seat by her shoulder. I start asking questions about all the buildings and things I see. They're nice enough to answer all my questions patiently. New York really is a beautiful place, I'm glad I've always gotten to experience this place with her. We pass by a park that she really likes and she starts talking animatedly about it. Using her free hand to express words and raising her voice in excitement a bit. I can't help but to just stare and marvel at the beauty before me.

The last thing I hear her say about it is "...it really is beautiful." Then she gets quiet.

"Yeah, it really is." I say still staring at her not meaning the park at all. I think she notices cause she turns her head to me and blushes. She then gives me a quick peck on the lips and the rest of the ride is spent in comfortable silence, just enjoying the scenery and low hum of the radio.

We get to her apartment and I try not to comment on how ghetto her neighborhood is. I mean I know I'm from Lima heights but I think this is a little worse. After getting all my things settled in her room and looking at all the little knick knacks and posters in it, I noticed a picture frame on her bedside table of us when we first got together. Even though it was only a few years ago it's weird how much older and mature Rachel looks now. I think it's because she is finally where she belongs and is on her way to do doing what she is destined to do. I hear a knock on their big clunky door and go out to see who is here. As I get closer to the living room I see a tall, pale white guy with a beanie. Kurt introduces him as Adam and as his "friend" I totally don't buy it but I let it go.

"San, I know you are probably tired from the plane ride but we have some plans for you. We wanted to show you our favorite bar Callbacks, but we decided on waiting for tomorrow night." Rachel says and walks over to me and grabs my hand to pull me closer to her.

"Okay so then what's the plan for tonight?" I ask and put my arm around her shoulder and pull her into my side. We have always been a very affectionate couple, I guess being apart for months doesn't change much.

"Well tonight we were thinking on ordering from our favorite take-out place and making you watch all of our girly Broadway movies we used to make you watch." She says with a huge smile.

"Do we at least get to cuddle?" I ask in that Rachel tone.

"Duh! That's why I planned it like that." She says. She reaches her arms to my neck and pulls my face to hers to kiss me very quickly but also very deeply. After the kiss she doesn't let go just yet and whispers in my ear. "I also have some other plans for tonight if your good." A shiver shoots down my back because damn that sexy tone of voice she used.

"You know Rach, your whisper isn't really that quiet." Kurt's says in disgust.

"Oh you love it!" I say and start laughing. Poor Kurt has seen and heard way too much through the years because of me and Rachel.

"No I really don't." He says and walks away shaking his head and taking Adam with him. I'm still laughing when Rachel's tell me she is going to go get her phone and ask if I can get the menu off of the refrigerator door. I say yes and we both go to get our designated items. I walk into the kitchen and just take a look around for a minute. I see a really pretty bouquet of red roses on the counter and go look at them. I see there is a card hanging on it so I read it.

_Thanks for hanging out with me the other night and I hope I didn't scare you off -B_

That's odd I was pretty sure Kurt and Adam were more than friends but I guess not. I then feel arms around my waist, "Did you get the menu?" Rachel says.

I turn around in her arms and look around for the fridge and notice it's within arms reach. I reach out and pluck it off the fridge and smile at her.

"I do now!" I say.

"Your such a dork, come on let's go see what Kurt and Adam want and then we can see what you want and we will call and order." I nod my head in agreement and she takes her arms from around my waist to grab my hand and pull me into the living room. I wanna ask what's up with the situation with Kurt and this "B" guy and Adam but it can wait until later.

After eating and watching movies it starts to get late and I can see Kurt and Adam look really tired.

"Well ladies I'm getting extremely tired so I'm gonna go stay at Adams place." Kurt says standing up and folding up the blanket he was using.

"Why are you staying at Adams?" I ask.  
"Because if you two are anything like you were in high school, then I really don't wanna hear any of that." He says with a traumatized look on his face. I smirk and look over to Rachel and see that she is smirking too. Gosh I love this girl.

Kurt then gets his stuff and they are making there way out. Rachel gets up and turns off the TV as soon as they are out the door.

"Hey! I was watching that!" I say looking up at her to see a mischievous grin on her face. That grin instantly turned me on.

"Well I have something better for you to watch...in my bedroom." She says in that husky tone and walks away swaying her hips. She knows I love her butt, and she knows I watch it when she walks away. I think she paralyzed me. I really wanna follow her but I can't.

"Are you coming?" She shouts from her room and I have to literally bite my tongue to stop my self from saying wanky. I quickly get up not wanting to waste any more time. I walk into the room to see she has taken off her clothes and all she has on is the matching purple bra and pantie set with the lace and bows we got at Victoria secrets last Christmas. She knows that's my favorite set.

She has her back to me putting her iPod in the dock and I walk up and put my arms around her waist and start giving her butterfly kisses to her neck. She then puts her arms behind her into my hair and moans when I start sucking and licking her neck. I hear the song she put on was "Skin" by Rihanna.

She then turns around in my arms and start pushing me to her bed. When my knees hit the bed I fall on it still sitting up. Then she starts straddling me and alternates between whisper singing the song in my ear and kissing my neck. She knows I love hearing that voice even if it is quiet. Her hands are making work of removing my shirt and bra. Once she gets that off she starts working on my belt buckle. I run my hands from her neck down to her lower back and run my fingers lightly over it. She moans again and starts working faster at getting my belt off and pants unbuttoned.

I then run my fingers up to her bra and undo the clasp and pull the straps off her arms and throw the bra somewhere. I start kissing all over her chest. When I start sucking her right nipple into my mouth and palming the other one she moans even louder and moves her hands down my back and into my jeans. I know she wants them off so I quit teasing and switch our positions so she's lying down and I'm on top of her. I pull my jeans off and throw them on the floor and start kissing her. I love her mouth and the magical things it does, she bites my lip softly and she knows I love that. When I open my mouth to moan she involves our tongues and they begin battling for dominance. While we're kissing I feel her hands reach down and slip into the waistband of my underwear. I then feel her finger glide through my folds easily because of how wet I am and brings it up to my clit.

"Fuck!" I say because of how sensitive it is.

"I see someone has missed me." She says with a cocky smirk and I start kissing her again because that smirk only makes me wetter. She then tugs at my underwear and I take them off and then start pulling hers off very slowly by her thighs because I know she loves when I have my hands on them. I take them off and run my hand back up her leg. I then do the same as she did to me.

"I could say that same about you." I smirk back at the way she moans and then glares at me. I kiss her again and then move to her neck and place kisses all over it. I start using my finger to rub her clit.

She starts moaning loudly, "fuck San! Quit teasing" she says. I love when she curses. I do what she says and I move my finger to her entrance and slowly slide it in as deep as I can go. She moans even louder and I'm thankful Kurt decided not to stay. I mean she's loud in normal everyday conversation so you can only imagine. I pull out and go back with a second finger and start moving faster. Then I bring up my thumb and rub her clit with it every time I pound into her. I start going even faster and deeper and my arm is already burning from how fast I'm going.

"Oh god San! That's so good, don't stop! Fuck!" She screams and keeps repeating my name I decide to use one more finger when I go back and she screams loudly and her walls clench my fingers but I still go as much as I can with how she is tightening. After she cums I lean down and kiss her I still have my fingers inside of her and I'm going in and out slowly.

"Oh god! San what are you doing? I can't take anymore!" She yells.

"Yes you can you've done it before." I whisper and start kissing my way down her body while my fingers speed up again. I get to her clit and start sucking and pounding my fingers as fast as before. She screams again and her walls tighten again. Once she's done this time I slowly pull my fingers out and liquid comes gushing out with. I lean down and lick it all up and crawl back up her body and lay down next to her. She rolls over and kisses me deeply.

"Babe...I really wanna return the favor but you kinda wore me out." She says tiredly.

"It's okay baby, we can go to sleep now we have all week to worry about that." I say and kiss her forehead and cuddle up to her. She nods tiredly and we fall asleep in each others arms.


	9. Chapter 9

I wake up in the morning feeling great. Rachel is in my arms and I feel like I'm at home. She always makes me feel like that. I stare at how beautiful she is and just get lost in everything that is her. Even though her eyes are closed she starts talking.

"Are you staring at me or being my little space cadet?" She says. Yeah, everyone makes fun of how I get lost in my head all the time.

"A little bit of both." I say sheepishly. "How could you even tell?" I ask.

"I can always feel when your staring at me San, I just never say anything cause I'm not always 100 percent if your staring at me or in planet thoughts." I love how she knows me.

I start thinking about how hungry I am and then my stomach grumbles loudly.

"Come on!" She says smacking my thigh lightly and sitting up,"Lets go make some breakfast."

After we eat and get showered we watch TV and wait for Kurt to get back. He doesn't get back till the evening and they remind me they wanna show me there favorite bar. After we all get ready we head off. We walk instead of taking Kurts car because they want to show me some of the places around where they live. When we get to Callbacks I can definitely tell we're in the theater community. We find a booth to sit in and Rachel and I volunteer to get the first round of drinks. After getting two of the drinks from the bar I turn around to go take them back and run into someone. I accidentally spill one of the drinks on whoever it is. I look up to see a cross between donkey from Shrek and a Ken doll. I wanna laugh at how mad he looks and tell him to watch where he is going but I don't want Rachel to get mad.

"Sorry Ken, I didn't see you there." I say in tone that you could clearly tell I wasn't that sorry. He still looks a little angry then looks over to Rachel when she turns around to see what is going on. Once he sees Rachel his face isn't angry anymore. I'm not sure I like the look it was replaced with.

"Rachel! I didn't know you were going to be here tonight." Ken doll says.

I look to Rachel to see she has a somewhat awkward/guilty face. That's weird.

"Uh.. Hi Brody, didn't know you would be here either." She says kinda quietly. He just nods his head and smiles at her all grossly.

"This is Santana." She says pointing her head in my direction since her hands were full.

"Oh! The Santana! I've heard a lot about you." He says looking to me and his smile instantly changes to fake.

"Funny because I've heard nothing about you." I say.

"Well this was fun and everything but we better get these drinks back to Kurt and Adam." Rachel says and looks at me in that way that I know I better do what she says. The Brody guy says bye to Rachel and stares at her and she walks away. I really don't like that guy. I start thinking about the roses that said "B" and I want to ask about it but I guess it can wait until later.

After dancing and listening to a lot of different people sing we finally head home. It's only like 11 but I know Kurt has a class in the morning tomorrow. They don't have this week off like I do but Rachel is pretending to be sick. I didn't approve of it but she usually does what she wants. When we get back I go to take a shower cause I always feel gross after dancing at a bar. When I get out I look for my phone but I think I left it out in the living room. After getting into pajamas and brushing my teeth I go into Rachel's bedroom to see her laying there under the covers. She must have been tired so I turn off the lights and get into next to her. I put my arms around her waist and bury my head behind her neck. She then shoots up causing my arm and head to fall off her. She then turns the lap next to her on and looks at me.

"What the hell?" I say

"Who's Marley?" She asks.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean this!" She says and pulls my phone up from under the covers.

"This Marley, who tells you're beautiful, and sends you cheesy pick up lines and who most recently bought you flowers." She says looking at the phone scrolling through the messages.

I sit up too and say "Rach, that's just some little girl who has a crush on me. It doesn't mean anything."

"Then why don't you shut her down or something, instead you just reply with smiley faces or laugh at her dumb jokes!" She says a little angrily. This has always been a problem between us. We would hardly fight with each other unless we got jealous. We are both very jealous people but she is a little worse. She has always had go through my phone, my Facebook, and even my twitter. I've always let her because I've never had anything to hide. She interrupts my thoughts when she talks again.

"I know we aren't technically together but we are supposed to be honest with each other." She says.

"Okay first of all there is nothing to be honest about. She is my friend and only my friend. Yeah she is flirty but I've already told her no..."

"What do you mean you told her no?" She interrupts.

"She asked me out once and I told her no," she rolls her eyes and then looks down.

"And second of all..." I begin, "if we are supposed to be honest then tell me what is up with donkey face?"

"Donkey face?" She looks up to me questioningly.

"Yeah the guy at the club who was giving you the eyes...and who sent you the flowers?" I throw the last part in just to see if it was true.

"Oh" she says looking guilty. I instantly feel a little angry but I wait for her to explain.

"I wanted to tell you San I just wanted to wait so our whole week wasn't ruined, and I wasn't going to tell you over the phone."

"Tell me what?"

"Well... I first met Brody back when school first started. He was a really cool guy and became like one of my best friends. He would listen when I went on and on about how I how I missed you and was really supportive of it all." She says looking down again.

"...and?" I question.

"And... Last week we went to go hang out as usual. I needed help with a routine I'm working on for my dance class and he was helping me. All of a sudden in the middle of the dance he stopped and kissed me." I instantly felt my anger bubble up so much more.

"What?! He kissed you? I could kill that little plastic asshole. Nobody kisses my girl and gets away with it!" I stand up and start pacing around.

"San! That's the thing though!" She says and stands up and grabs my hands, so I will face her.

"I'm not your girl...well not technically, of course in my heart I always will be but we made a decision, together..." She lets go of my hand and takes a deep breath.

"Besides...when he kissed me I didn't exactly pull away, I kissed him back and then suddenly realized what I was doing. I ran and have been avoiding him since. That's why he sent me the flowers. Even so, what was I supposed to do? Say no I have a girlfriend? We both decided that if we wanted to date someone else that we would."

"So you want to date him?" I ask.

"No...well I don't know. I feel like I could possibly like him but it's just so hard to see anyone else once I've been with you." She smiles sadly and I guess I can understand what she is saying.

"Then why did you get so mad about the texts?" I ask.

"Because Santana, you know I can't help it. I've always been this way, if someone so much as looks at you, you know I go crazy."

"Well I don't know what to say." I say, because I really don't.

"Do you like that girl?" She asks, I guess I could be honest about what I feel when I touch Marley, cause I really don't know.

"I don't know either Rach, I guess it's the same situation. As you can see in the texts she listens when I talk about you and she has been a good friend. I just don't know because of you...honestly every time we hug or have any kind of skin contact I feel something, a spark I guess, it's not like with you but... It's still there and I've just chosen to ignore it."

"That makes me upset but I guess I feel the same. I feel something with Brody but it's hard because of you."

"What are we supposed to do about it? I know ill never stop loving you but the distance is hard."

"I don't know...I have been thinking about it and maybe we should stop all of this." She says gesturing between us

"What are you talking about this? We've already broken up?"

"I know but I mean like the hooking up, the kissing, the calling each other pet names. It's confusing, for both of us and we are never going to fully live our life's if we are still acting like this. It's not healthy."

"You're right, but I can't stop talking to you, I just won't."

"I never said that! There's no way that would happen! I couldn't function if we stopped talking, so of course we still would. It would just have to be as regular,normal friends."

"That's gonna be hard."

"I know but we have to try."

I agree and we both decide that it's getting late. After trying to figure out how to sleep in the same bed without cuddling with each other we eventually fall asleep.

The next day I wake up and it feels really weird. I want so badly just to hold on to her and kiss her. She's right though it's not healthy. We start talking about what's gonna happen once I go back. She says she might give Brody a chance but she's not sure. She also tells me to give Marley a chance although I tell her that probably won't happen. I'm proud of her because its very mature of her to say something like that but I can see in her eyes it pains her to.

After spending the rest off the week seeing New York and enjoying everything it's finally time for me to head back to Ohio.  
When I'm outside of where I board the plane I hug Rachel tightly and hold on to her for a long time. We let go and both smile sadly at each other. I start walking away and I can feel my heart breaking into a million little pieces. I feel something different about this break up. It feels more real. I get on the plane and wait to go back to Ohio. I feel like something in the world has shifted and I don't feel right. I hope I can fall asleep and sleep this bad feeling off.


End file.
